One of the saddest things that I have been consciously avoiding is to eat alone publicly.

There are activities in life that we have to do alone. In fact, I have done a few stuffs singly which usually are done with companions: traveling on plane, rushing oneself to the hospital, and watching movies in theaters. However, don't count me to voluntarily eat publicly. As much as possible, I avoid it because I get sad at all times. No matter how delicious the food is on the table, it feels empty to eat alone. At times that there aren't really companions, I take out the food and eat it somewhere private.

A friend once told me that I must get used to eating alone. "It is part of life," she said. But for now, I haven't yet convinced myself. I am not really buying to the idea.

I believe that any simple meal can become a five-star dish when you eat and share it with others. As the Filipino saying puts it, “Masarap kumain ng may kasalo.” Even Christ broke the bread and ate it with his disciples. Food is truly a blessing. Isn’t it that when there’s a cause for celebration, we do food blowouts? Be it birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, and victories, food is always involved. But during ordinary days, likewise, nothing beats dining in with friends as you burn hours to bond and share how your lives have been.

Apparently, what I enjoy much about going out with friends is when eating time strikes. Aside from getting to know them through exchange of talks, I recognize their uniqueness with the way they eat. Many of my friends don’t notice but I have been an observant kiddo on their table mannerisms. It’s my way of getting to know them more.

For instance, I have this friend who always drinks with two straws. Sometimes, she even shakes her head (na parang kinikilig), as she happily sips through the straws. I enjoy looking at her when she does that. It’s like simple things (such as a drink) can easily make her happy; that as if there’s no great thing to trouble her in any way. Knowing her for quite a while now, she is indeed a carefree person. Meanwhile, another friend of mine writes and draws left-handed. However, when she eats, her spoon remains on the right side. She also uses her right hand kapag nagkakamay. I’m not sure if this qualifies her as an ambidextrous. She is pretty much skilled, but she seems to be confused on what she really wants in life. In college, she shifted from one course to the other. It took her time to graduate. There came a time that she stopped schooling because she wanted to work immediately. Just as how often she changes her hands as tools, so as her aspirations in life. 

I seldom watch shows on GMA 7. But for me, the Sugod-Bahay segment of Eat Bulaga is one of the most-entertaining. To those unfamiliar with this segment, hosts Wally, Jose, and Paolo visit a house to give out prices. Part of the comedic act is to get to know the winner. Wally and Jose are so funny especially when they play with the home owner’s personal items. A while ago, however, I felt a bit sad for the winner. She is a 59-year-old widow who lives alone. Her husband died three years ago. She got miscarriage when she was 38. She has no child. At times, her nephews visit her at night so that she has companions. In fact, when Jose played with her kitchen utensils, he was surprised that they are covered in plastic. The woman told, “Kasi hindi naman nagagamit. Ako lang mag-isa dito. Bihira ako magluto ng pagkain.” Asked about re-marriage, she told that it is not part of her life goals anymore. “Tama na yung minsang minahal ako, at nagmahal ako,” she said.

I wonder how it feels to be alone in that way. If I cannot stand eating alone publicly, what more if I am eating alone for a lifetime. The TV show segment wasn’t enough for me to understand how she’s able to go through life, but for sure, it is never easy. I am pretty much of an extrovert person. At times, I cannot stay at home because it bores me to death. I always enjoy making new friends. True that no man is an island. As for me, I look at life as an archipelago--with several islands, representing every individual, who are separated by the seas. It is through sailing that we bridge the gap. 

Maybe that’s why it is painful for me to eat alone. It’s a sad feeling that I have met a number of people but nobody bothered to be with me, at that place, at that time, at that moment. It totally contradicts my “socially-impulsive” personality. I am not sure if this blog goes to everybody. Perhaps others don't bother much if they eat alone in public. After all, what matters is to have something to eat. Maybe this is just me. Maybe I am just too attached with people. 

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2 comentarios:

  1. Happidezz says:

    parang kilala ko yung may dalawang straw at yumayanig ang head pag umiinom ;p haha!

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